Creating small pockets of happiness
This past holiday season was one of the most difficult ones I can remember. I was awaiting results from a cancer screening (that was most likely to be positive), a lot of the BIPOC families in my community, including my own, were getting push back because of the anti-racism work we had started earlier in the year and the number of omicron infections were surging in my city, which meant cutting back on the precious little freedoms that I had started to take when the infection rate was down.
Adding to the conundrum was the fact that it was our very first holiday season with our baby and the pressure to make it at least a little special was bringing tears to my eyes. One night when the tears did spill, my husband remarked, "You know, we could do nothing! Just be together as a family." The planner in me reflexively knew that was a bad idea and I explained that when nothing was planned, people still tended to have expectations, which don't get met and disappointments follow. Always the workaround engineer of the family, my husband said without a beat, "How about small fun things then?"
When nothing is planned, people still tend to have expectations, which don't get met and disappointments follow.
So here's a snapshot of our plan for the holiday week. Everyday, between Christmas and New Year, we had a short 30 minutes fun activity planned.
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Dec 26: Make hot chocolate and enjoy
Dec 27: Write New Years Card (we knew we wouldn't make it in time for Christmas cards, so New Year's it was! Setting realistic expectations makes all the difference, really!)
Dec 28: Take a walk in the park and take pictures
Dec 29: Grab onigiri and bubble tea for lunch
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What a difference this planning made! Of course, there were hiccups (when isn't there with a baby in the mix) and hard moments (my cancer screening came back positive), but everyday there was a clear expectation set and we all had something fun to look forward to as a family. And those precious little pockets of happiness put such a lightness in my heart and in our lives, that was crucial to carry us through the difficult and heavy days that lay ahead with my cancer diagnosis. Sure there were no grand gestures or big holiday moments, but those short bursts of joy made all the difference in our lives!
Those precious little pockets of happiness put a lightness in my heart and in our lives, that was crucial to carry us through the difficult and heavy days that lay ahead.
I'm sharing all this because with the long, long pandemic, each one of us have storms that we're going through. And with no respite in sight for COVID-19, we may be burning out by not being able to plan that trip or holiday or lean on our usual sources of joy and support. If you're on that boat, like me, concentrate on the small joys of life to carry you through the heaviness for now. Plan a porch visit with a dear friend, make tea in that fancy mug of yours, take a walk in the sunshine, have hot chocolate with your kids, just anything small to add to your day and enrich your life.
There was a Bangla poem my late father loved that goes perfectly with this post and I'll end with that. The translation goes like this:
"I've seen the mountains. And I've seen the oceans.
But what I haven't seen with my eyes wide open...
Is the glistening dewdrop on the blade of grass
Just two footsteps away from my home."
Don't forget the happiness that you can feel from the simple things just two footsteps from your home. And if you need more help with finding those simple joys of life, don't hesitate to reach out to us at contact@abetterforce.com or on our social media.